Saturday, March 1, 2014

Post-it Note Poetry – The end for another year

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So 28 days of writing short poetry and reading the short poems of others is over.  There’s some reflections I’d like to make but first here are the last few poems:

work of art
these termite trails 'neath bark
a page inscribed

 

There's a partial rhyme that's crept in and I am not sure if I should have gone with beneath or ‘neath. I chose the latter to try and fit a 12 syllable restriction. Could easily have been:


work of art these termite trails under bark - a page inscribed.

 

I could also drop the “a” to give me the 12 syllables, but I am not sure if it works as well

I also was trying to introduce layers of meaning ie the trails are a work of art and they are like inscriptions or carvings on a page and/or both an inscribed page and a termite eaten log can be works of art.

 

 

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hedge afire
with a thousand blossoms
summer's last rain

 

After an incredibly hot summer, breaking hundred year old records we received about twice the average rainfall for February in one day. But two days later our hedge burst into flame with beautiful red flowers.

It comes in at 13 syllables.  I could swap out blossom for blooms which would make it 12.  What do you think?

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